Dear Juzno,
It has come to our attention that you have just retired from
your regular job. Congratulations.
For a limited time, we are offering jobs to retirees who may
want to make extra money on the side.
While money may not be a concern to you right now, in a few years your
hard earned pension may no longer be sufficient to allow you to continue with
your lifestyle. We are offering a hefty
monetary package and fringe benefit. I
am quite sure that you will not be disappointed by what we have to offer.
We are a small firm that specializes in quick money. Please call me at your earliest convenience
so we can talk more about our company and the exciting job that awaits you
here.
Sincerely yours,
Bernard “Bernie” Madoff
Dear Mr Madoff,
Thank you for your letter.
I am almost positive that I heard your name before but couldn’t quite
pinpoint it. Your offer is very
attractive. However, at this time, I am
quite busy chasing chickens on my backyard, which does require full time
attention. Don’t get me wrong, I could
use the extra bread. Yet the idea of
going back to work seems to be a regression of the worst sort. Hence, at this moment, I would have to
respectfully decline on your generous offer.
Please do not attempt to respond to this letter. My lawyer has advised me that further
persuasion from such a prominent company as yours could result in a restraining
order. I am confident that this legal
action would be unnecessary. Yet it is
best to mention it just the same.
Yours truly,
Juzno