The Jewish Liberace

We were on our way to St Moritz  on a train via the Bernini Express.  The Jewish Liberace was sitting with me.  He had been telling tales of his adventures in Switzerland, and how he and Freddie Mercury went to school together in London.  He said that Freddie had been given a traditional Indian burial.  I thought he was Persian I told him.  He said, yes, yes, quite right, his skin color is lighter.  I knew that he would tell things that are incredulous.  He said he used to live in Los Angeles and was a hair dresser for some famous Hollywood celebrity.  I don't remember her name.  Then without missing a beat, he lifted his left cheek and farted next to me.  Right then, I knew I had to leave.