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Iloilo City, Philippines |
Since Valentine’s Day is coming, it would seem appropriate to ask the man who is an expert in gift-giving during this time of the year.
Juznobsrvr: Mr. Meat Bossman, you’ve been in the gift-giving business for how long?
Mr. Meat Bossman: 35 years I’ve been in this business. Will that be a pound or half a pound of pork belly?
J: I’ll take half. Now tell me… what would you suggest as a great gift to my wife?
M: Normally, I’ll recommend a variety of stuff like ribs, loin and belly fat but since you’re a repeat customer, I’ll have to say get her the fat back.
J: Why is that?
M: It’s the best part. You can make them into pork rinds and lard.
Disclaimer: If you are a puckerbutt or if you are offended because you are a Jew, Vegetarian, or non-meat eater because of religion or diet or preference, then I apologize for this silly satirical banter.