Thursday, November 08, 2018
Selling Castle Haarzuilens (ii)
Somewhere in Haarzuilens
Dear Ms Real Estate Person,
I trust that you are in good disposition. You will recall my previous request for you to look into selling my castle in Haarzuilens. I am hoping that you have made significant progress to my request as a lot of things have happened. Not only has the tax people been threatening to sequester my assets, I am now being pursued by the Dutch court for allegations concerning illicit use of recreational medicinal in my own humble abode. Nonsense. The concept that recreational medicinal is illegal is oxymoronic. Besides I have stopped doing illicit drugs since our last North American tour. I now confine my habit to Jack Daniels, which I believe is still legal. By the way, the moat in the castle has been fixed so you don't have to worry about prospective buyers falling into the water. The water is cold but it won't kill ya. I remember when Mick was stoned out of his face one time that he thought it would be a great idea to play a small gig with the band on one of the castle's boats. We all went along with him. Mick sang Satisfaction, which was the craziest sound I have ever heard since we were playing Brown Sugar instead. Anyway, Bill got so upset that he finally threw Mick off the boat. A sorry sight to see - considering Mick was wearing my Armani jacket. Mick survived but never wanted to visit my castle again. Oh well, I digress. Again, I would appreciate if you can expedite the selling of my property. I'm attaching an updated photo that my friend Juzno recently took. I'll be driving down south to Luxembourg in the next few days so I hope we can finalize a deal before then.
Very Much Yours,